Black Market Codpieces and Coats for Snowmen

I'm in good spirits.

I don't clain a religion, but I love Christmas and everything about it. Especially the music. In fact, I like the holiday so much that I can't imagine not celebrating it. I don't claim a religious affiliation, but Christmas is fun.

Which is why I understand, but won't agree at all, with those Atheists who insist that Real Atheists don't celebrate Christmas.

First and foremost, "Real" Atheists don't believe in any deities or supernatural things (though I know of some that believe in the possibility of, oh, aliens and parallel universes), that's it. Second, the holiday itself has become more secular than sacred, so I'm sure that celebrating Christmas is perfectly safe for even the strongest of Atheists.

Like a lot of ex-Pentecostals who were in it since they were kids, I have my forms of rebellion.

Unlike a few of my fellow ex-Pentecostals, I don't need drugs, alcohol, or wild sex orgies. No, no, "erotica" is enough. Books, websites, and podcasts about LGBT interests--those are enough. Hell, information about sex is enough. Hell, anything that contradicts the church directly--that's enough of a rebellion for me.


My boommarks are full of things my parents would not approve of, and that's okay!

Yes, I'm ranting about YesFM. Again again. And I won't stop until it goes off the air or until they play some fucking music as opposed to fucking propaganda.

Dear YesFM,

I'm bisexual, and aside from my parents, I let people know if they ask. I am not miserable. I am not "struggling" with my same-sex attraction. I enjoy every minute of it, but anyway. Since you're clearly ignorant on the topic of homosexuality, prostitution, human trafficking, and Hate Crimes laws (YOU FAIL LAW AND PSYCHOLOGY FOREVER. GO BACK TO AN ACTUAL SCHOOL), I suggest that you shut the fuck up and stop bringing people on so that they can hock their wares.

Oh yes, please to not spout that "Love the sinner, hate the sin" bullshit. We filthy sinners of the world have heard that shit multiple times before, and it seems that you pious folk are really, really, really very focused on the sex that us evil, evil sinners are having. Way more focused than we could ever be.

No love at all,
Jordi.

P.S., here, have rhe official Stamp of FAIL.
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There have been a lot of these entries, but...

Today's Real and Scary Thought on Religion is simply The Church Hates You And Wants You To Fail. And it doesn't matter who you are. The church still hates you and wants you to fail.


( It doesn't matter who you are, what you're doing, the system was designed with your failure in mind. )

Today's Real and Scary Thought on Religion is being tired. This is also deeply personal, but still quite public.

( The sky isn't falling and I'm tired of running around like it is. )

A short Real Scary Thought:

Focus on the Family seems Focused on the Gay.

Which means that they spend more time thinking about gay people and how they live than actual gay people.
They think a lot about sex, too. More than people who are actually having sex. Fuck, it seems to be some sort of disease. Is it a general Evangelical affliction or is it a sign of batshit insanity unique to Pentecostals?

Fuck, I'm a horny virgin and I like to think that I think about sex way less than my mom's pastor does, and certainly less about the Hawt Girl-on-Girl Action than said pastor. That is disturbing to say the least.

Basically, the pious spend their time thinking more about so-called sinners and their sin than those so-called sinners. And frankly, that is scary.

Today's Real and Scary Thought on Religion is all about numbers. Specifically my thoughts on why numbers matter to Evangelicals and Fundamentalists, and Pentecostals and everyone of their ilk.

( Numbers Matter )

Augh.

Seriously.

Also why I hate Focus on the Family and why James Dobson is really, really really no damn better than Perez Hilton.

In light of the whole Miss California thing (that I admiditedly was not paying attention to because I neither run in those circles nor do I care about beauty pageants. But anyway, first of all, I am somewhat proud of her for showing some sort of honesty in a contest that is mostly about being as plastic as possible, and perhaps Perez Hilton did intentionally bait her, and perhaps the reactions of some were completely out of line.

But it had dick all to do with Satan or the nonexistent Gay Agenda and everything to do with an individual man's overinflated ego and it was basically anything and everything the man could do to keep his name on the headlines. As for the death threats--are you fucking kidding me? It may have happened but still, such actions are completely goddamn unnecessary, all for an answer to a completely loaded question.

That said, I do not believe that James Dobson, her parents, or the Christian media outlets still carrying this story are any better. By dragging this girl out and presenting her as some kind of fucking martyr for expressing an opinion that, like it or not, a majority of people do agree with, is wrong. Say what you will of beauty pageants being exploitative (I really do not think they are), but marching the girl up and down every Christian media outlet that can be found is exploitation pure and simple. It is the exploitation of a young woman whose dreams were shattered by the actions of one loudmouthed egotist inciting a few easily-angered hotheads. And in treating her as though she is some sort of martyr for the cause, there is way, way more harm than good done.


On a brighter note, my mother might be accepting (or at least tolerant) of my Agnosticism. I goddamn hate the word "tolerance" when used by right-wing "Family Values" assholes. As for being "intolerant", I am intolerant of bigotry. I am intolerant of stupid asshats who want to deny rights to human beings by using the Bible all while ignoring the parts of the Bible that are just as goddamn horrible. For example, if someone imposed Biblical law and said that one can marry a twelve-year-old girl, I have to wonder if my mother would be on board with it. Or if, at the age of eleven, I were forced to marry my rapist for about a hundred bucks. Would she be okay with that? It's in the Bible. And my mom likes shrimp--but according to the Bible, she wouldn't be able to have shrimp. Also working on Sundays can get you killed. All of that shit is in the Bible, yet the Family Values asshats will ignore the stuff that they do not like and then accuse other people of "cherry-picking" the Bible when they do it just as much, if not moreso.

Thus, I am intolerant of hypocritical bullshit and the frank exploitation of a fellow young woman whose opinion I may not agree with, but who does not deserve the media flogging she is getting from the mainstream media, nor does she need to be dragged in front of each and every Christian media outlet as some sort of fucking martyr. I don't know which part of the whole story makes me want to throw up more, the exploitation by one loudmouth whose opinions go largely ignored, or the exploitation by a loudmouth who sells millions of books and who has many people who see him as God's prophet in Colorado Springs.


And those are my real feelings on the subject. Done.

ETA: As of yesterday, I know which part makes me want to throw up more. Both the fact that Dobson and his Dashboard Bobblehead followers and the girl's parents are propping her up as some sort of goddamn martyr, and the fact that she is going along with this shit. Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Comparing herself to Esther? You kidding me? It's been a while since I've read a Bible that wasn't annotated for my convenience, but I'm pretty fucking sure that no one is killing people wholesale for being Christian, at least not here in America, and I'm doubly sure that no one is going to kill people for being against gay marriage. Seriously. So fuck it. I know dick all about the world of beauty pageants and until now, I didn't give two fucks. Give it a month or two and no one else will give a fuck, either, and Focus on the Family will find some other threat to the family to flip out over. Fuck, given the short attention span most people have when it comes to news in general and entertainment news in specific, it won't even take a month. You know, if Christian media doesn't drag shit out like they always seem to do once they find a new martyr for the fucking cause.

I will never tell my mom that I'm bi. I'd rather die than be shipped off to Teen Challenge. I'd rather she kill me here and now if ever I tell her. Because Teen Challenge is worse than prison, despite the quarterly dog-and-pony show where people from Teen Challenge come and beg for money all while saying how they thank God for Teen Challenge.

Because seriously, I've heard the tired fucking arguments that daring to treat anyone who isn't straight and baby-obsessed like they're human fucking beings will lead to people fucking animals and children and that THE END TIMES ARE A 'COMIN' THANKS TO TEH GAY!11.

Also, in Biblical times, girls got married as young as fourteen, if not younger, to guys in their thirties. Think about that the next time a Bible-Beater compares gays to pedophiles and goat-fuckers, and then when the sexually-frustrated Christian radio DJs are pining for the days when women were little more than slightly sentient, mostly ambulatory incubators for the future Army of the Lord. I know good and damn well that anyone, when faced with the knowledge that preteen girls were regularly sold into marriage by their fathers has nothing to say about the evils of pedophilia. By the way, "fucking little girls" is never mentioned in the List o' Things That Make You Hellbound in the Bible. Then again, slavery's illegal, but the Bible outlines how to sell your daughter into slavery. Wearing blended fabrics is cause for a stoning. Then again, so's eating shellfish. So Mum? No more shrimp for you!

[/rant]

It's ridiculous to assume that, since we're at the six-billion-plus mark that we can't afford to scale back on the reproduction a little. Besides, you'd think that she'd be behind the idea of homosexuality because gays don't have unwanted pregnancies, therefore no abortions. But no. Being gay is kind of like being non-Pentecostal or voting Democrat or having any trace of a thought not approved by Ares Paul the pastor in the canon of things that will get you sent immediately to Hell.

It bothers me. And I hate the word "tolerance". People "tolerate" the annoying guy at work. People "tolerate" the stupid cow with her half-dozen half-retarded kids who hold up the line at McDonald's while that half-dozen kids hems and haws over a decision. Whenever I come out to my mom, if ever I do, what I want is acceptance. To be treated like a human being and not something to be "cured" by a good, deep dicking. I can't believe that this was suggested in a church. Not with that phrasing, but the idea of "curing" lesbians with forced sex with guys was actually suggested. As a joke. IN A CHURCH. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. SOMEONE SUGGESTED RAPE AS A JOKE. IT'S WORSE THAN FANFICS WHERE THE WOMAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER RAPIST. AT LEAST IT'S FICTION AND FANGIRLS DON'T HAVE ANY SAY IN THE POLITICAL DISCOURSE. THE GUY WHO MADE THE CRACK IS A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH AND HE CAN VOTE. GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!


I wonder if she knows how much it hurts when she goes on anti-gay, anti-choice tirades. I wonder if she gives a fuck because one of those "dirty, diseased faggots" lives right here under her own roof. I wonder if she knows already but says it in hopes that I'll "change" somehow.

I won't go into conversations with her about it anymore. I quit. I fucking give up. I just wonder that, if I decide to hang myself, whether she'll blame anime or my music or the Internet this time rather than looking in the church and in the mirror.


The song I'm listening to is oddly appropriate. When my parents make such comments, it makes being around them that much more difficult.

It's been a while since I did one of these.

Today's Real Scary Thoughts about Religion (I'll explain later as to why I call them "Real Scary Thoughts") is about something I've heard over and over and over.

( Just give it to Jesus )

Today's Real and Scary Thought on Religion is deeply personal, but I think it'll apply to anyone, anyone who was raised in what I was, and is getting out.

Today's Real and Scary Thought is about not having grown up, and what fear actually is.

( When I grow up.... )

Also, how I came to the conclusion that God as outlined in Pentecostal interpretations of the Bible just cannot exist.

( Personal stuff here again. )

Eventually, I'll get around to explaining exactly why being in a Christian bookstore made me want to stab myself in the eye with one of those gaudy-ass scripture wind chimes, but it's time for a Real and Scary Thought on Religion.

I wish my mother was always this rational and that she'd get the hell out of Pentecostalism before she winds up drowning herself or one or all of her kids in the Maumee River saying that God told her to.

( Yep, griping about YesFM again again. )

More Real and Scary Thoughts on Religion. With a side of politics!

Today's subject is hypocrisy and why I still hate Yes FM and want them to fail miserably.

( Fuck you, too. )

Also, I wish the DJs at Yes FM would shut up about stuff they don't know about. Which would be, oh, abortion, homosexuality, other religions, in fact, anything concerning women period. And play some goddamn music, already. If I wanted my fill of right-wing venom, I'd flip over to AM radio.

Also...

( Getting to the entry subject. )

*all credit for the phrase "Jesus the Freshmaker" go to The Cynic Sage.

Today's Real and Scary Thoughts on Religion are going to be all over the place, but I can sum it up very well with this statement:

If you ever wanted to know what these people are really like, then listen to YesFM in the morning if you're ever in Northwest Ohio. And keep away from any sharp objects, blunt objects, or anything that can be fashioned into a weapon of some kind, if you're inclined to violence. And if you feel yourself becoming suicidal...don't kill yourself, even as you feel as if your brain cells are all dying.

( And this is every fucking day I feel this... )

And those are real and scary thoughts.

Man, that was long. Also edited because I broke the HTML. Fixed it. It should be better now.

It's one word, three letters, one syllable. Wanna know why it's so important to me? Read on.

Today's (kinda late) Real and Scary Thought on Religion: That word, "yet", and how it relates to Pentecostalism and walking away. This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but as usual, I got distracted by MCStories updates and roleplays.

( One little word makes all the difference in the fucking world, and you and I both know it. )

I'm glad to just be Agnostic. Most Christians don't hate Agnostics nearly as much as they do Atheists, from what I've seen online and off.

Agnostics are like...the bisexuals of spirituality. Either we don't exist or we're trying to earn religious/heterosexual brownie points, or are utterly confused.

But yes. I lack the air of intellectual superiority of the average online Atheist. I know that Atheists offline are not all assholes, but you will get the one who is probably as crazy as the religious nuts, I still think that the Internet makes it much easier to be a dicknozzle.

Also cake.

Jordi's Real Scary and True Thought on Religion for today: A quote from a pastor relayed by my mom today. Something related to if one prays and then stops before anything happens, it's like spiritual abortion. ...Never mind the whole pregnancy metaphor being squicky as all fucking hell, I had a question on my mind.

If you pray for something for years and it never comes to pass, is it a spiritual miscarriage?


( I've had a great deal of spiritual miscarriages... )

I'm 22 years old, right?

So I can tell my mom why I do not want to go to church, right?

If she brings it up again, I will tell her in no fewer words that I feel like she is manipulating me, and if she pushes the issue again, I'll tell her that the more she pushes me, the less likely I'll even bother with church in general, never mind the Pentecostal madness.

I've never been more afraid than I am now, but I've never been so fucking adamant. Here's hoping that I'm able to be as strong as I know I can be, even in face of my mother.

As she keeps saying, I'm an adult, too. It's about damn time I saw myself as such, even in the face of my parents.

---------------

Also, the more I listen to Yes FM and the more I listen to Ken Ham's Answers in Genesis, the more I think he's losing his goddamn motherfucking mind. ...Dinosaurs went extinct a couple of hundred years ago? What the flying hell is that guy even on about? The more I listen to Yes FM in general, the more I think that every last person from the DJs to the newscasters, is going out of their fucking minds.


But that's my opinion. I could be wrong.

As much as I disagree with my parents' religion, I hate to see disappointed old people. Hate it. Comes from working hospital security doing suicide watches and most of the ones I watched were elderly.

I hate to see disappointed old people. Fucking hate it. So in this installment of "Jordi's Actual and Scary Thoughts on God and Religion", I address the Rapture, and the idea that being Bonzer McUberChristian means that you'll be free of mental illness!

( Any Day Now keeps becoming more and more days until you die and nothing happens. Then what? )

And now for my next Random Thought on God and Religion: The idea that being religious makes mental illness go away. Sure, research says that religious people are happier, but do they ever say which one?

( Also, Why Can't God Heal Amputees? )

And those were my actual, scary thoughts on God and Religion. Next, maybe a rant on Christian music. :D
Made public because I can!

...

I have to say it: I left Pentecostalism for a whole hell of a lot of reasons, and the more I think about it, and the more my mom bugs me about "Zomg you need to go back to church", the more I want to say that I don't know if I even want to bother with church anymore. Because the more I think about the stuff I was taught, the more I wonder why more people haven't left.

( That's me in the spotlight//losing my religion )

And those are Jordi's thoughts on God and Religion. Made public because I can.

The first in a while.